IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
