Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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