I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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