that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
