508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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