i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
