just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
