Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
