So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
