just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
