I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
