She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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