I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize