i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
