ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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