She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
