Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
