All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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