Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
my being single is dangerous.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
