he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think i got beer on your cat.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
