Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
