Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
