Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
