I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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