Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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