i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
