I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
