I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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