Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
