It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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