I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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