$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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