just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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