Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Randomize
