YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize