I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Duck Duck Cougar?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
