No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
