i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
either way he was missing a nipple.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
