I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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