Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Randomize