i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize