office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
