Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
its not stalking. its research.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize