i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Randomize
