the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
