At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm going to jail i love you
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
