we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
