He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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