Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
