There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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