So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Girls should come with a carfax report
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
