Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
