fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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