If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
