At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
