So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
