I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
