He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
