I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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