who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
