come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
