Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize