Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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