dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
i've created a new STD.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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