I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
