My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
