He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
