The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I have tasted many bathrooms
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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