I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize