i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
