A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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