We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize