Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
