Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
